When Technology Forces a Redefinition of Family

“Driven by the increasing use of reproductive technologies, the debate over same-sex parenting, and the acceptance of single and even "group" parenting, a growing panoply of new "family constellations"—as one psychologist has termed them—is raising questions: Where does society draw the line between adults' perceived right to parent and what is best for children? What role should the state have in defining parenthood? And with little data to measure outcomes, is the world steaming away too rapidly from the two-parent, mother-father model?”

This well written article asks many of the important questions in the brave new world we have embraced. Children are growing up in non-traditional families and many are confused as to their identity and what and how family is defined. There is an old saying, “you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” Children can be chosen through invitro-fertilization, adoption and a host of other methods. But the article goes on to say,

"The issue is adults making life-altering decisions for their children that are in the adults' best interests as opposed to what's in the best interests of the child." And while various child-welfare experts define "best interests of the child" variously, Clark argues that the real experts, the children themselves, are not being heard.”

As adults continue to make these decisions, they can rationalize their choices in myriad ways. But as one of the interviewed children, now an adult, states:

"The reality is that the children are not being heard," Stefanowicz said. "You're a dependent; you can't speak up. You can't say, 'I'm 6 years old and this is the third partner my daddy has had.' The children are completely silenced and have to pretend it's fine and OK."

The issue of redefining the family is not just a point to discuss in an ivory tower, or at a local pub. It will affect a whole generation of people who have put in a situation who were not given a choice.