Welcome to Our Friendly Church

I was a pastor for 30 years and I always wondered what visitors thought about our church. Well now the shoe is on the other foot. I have relocated to Jacksonville, Florida and I am no longer in pastoral ministry having taken a new ministry assignment at a Christian college and graduate school. I now find myself as a church visitor looking for a church home for my wife and I.

In the past 4 weeks, we have visited 3 churches, one of them twice. Our observations were mixed as we found that all three churches had much to be commended. The ushers and greeters were friendly, the worship services were orderly and well developed, the preachers were well prepared and delivered their messages with passion, and their church ministry programs were plentiful and practical. But all three churches had one thing in common.

At the conclusion of the service, everyone pretty much filed out the door with little or no interaction. There were a few small groups of people having conversations, but the vast majority of the people just made their way to the door and parking lots. It left me wondering about the depth or lack thereof in relationships within the church.

I am mindful of the fact that we only made one visit to two of the churches, but it was somewhat odd that people who are going to spend eternity with each other have so little interaction after having not seen each other for at least the better part of a week.

I left more convinced than ever that small groups are essential for intimacy and relationship development. I would even venture to say that unless church attenders participate in some sort of small group, there is very little in a typical church service that would warrant all of the preparation necessary to put a church service together.

Every week each of the churches we visited has hundreds of people who will set their alarms, take showers, dress appropriately and drive to a building for an hour or ninety minutes. They sit through some decent music, somewhat meaningful rituals and a message by their pastor that is meant to feed their souls. Then they file out. With the exception of those who hung around, or are involved in a small group the service could have been dispensed with by the majority of the crowd and be substituted by a longer night of sleep, singing along with a worship CD while taking your shower and tuning in to the radio or TV to one of our fabulous national preachers.

That almost sounds sacrilegious. I'm not saying that Sunday morning services should be eliminated. What I am suggesting is that all Christians engage in a small group. Doing life together is what being the church is all about. The large group celebration is wonderful, but the smaller group interaction will allow you to learn more about intimacy with God and His people than the church service allows for. As a matter of fact, I believe that the collective gathering of the saints on Sunday will be more meaningful because you will have the added dimension of the reunion of your small group, conversing, sharing stories of your week, praying for each other and reminding each other of the upcoming small group meeting that will be held later in the week.

I have a feeling it will make a greater impact on church visitors as they see a bigger part of the church attenders co-mingling after the service. Better yet, look for new people and invite them to join your group. It will make the church experience so much more meaningful.