The Journey Part 2

I was born and raised in a Roman Catholic family. Coming from a Hispanic background it was expected that the family would be Catholic and raise their children as Catholics. Although we were baptized as infants, my parents were mostly non-practicing Catholics except for a couple of periods when they experienced a spiritual awakening of sorts and attended Mass regularly for a period of time.

I remember as a youngster being taken to the neighborhood parish. The first thing that I saw upon entering the church was the very high ceilings, the smell of incense and the beautiful stained glass windows. I recall very intense feelings of awe and mystery but didn't understand much of what went on during the service because it was done in Latin. Nevertheless I saw people young and old genuflecting (kneeling and crossing themselves before they entered and left the pews), holding rosary beads, and women with their heads covered with shawls and hankies. In the midst of all of the ritual, symbol and liturgy, I was convinced that there was a higher power behind it all, but He seemed obscure and hidden.

At that time the public schools had early release for children who wanted to leave class in order to participate in catechism (instruction in Catholicism to prepare for First Communion). I took advantage of early release, certainly to get out of school, but mostly because I was interested in spiritual matters. I finished the catechism course and partook of first communion at the age of ten. It was a big deal in our family. My parents bought me a suit and even threw a party. I was now officially able to participate in communion every Sunday if I also went to confession on Saturday evenings in preparation.

I continued in Catholic instruction in order to be confirmed. The bishop was invited to confirm our confession of faith and to impart to us the Holy Spirit. At least that is the way it was explained to me although I never fully understood it. It was another excuse to have a nice party and I felt more spiritual than ever. This was all well and good, but then puberty struck. I drifted from Catholic mass observance and got involved in what all adolescents do during that stage of life. I won't bore you with the details.

About that time (15 years old) my Dad had another awakening experience. Although I wasn't all that interested personally, I was impressed with what this awakening did for him. I especially remember a time when he was preparing to drive me to school in subzero weather in Chicago. He hummed spiritual songs as he scraped ice off the windows and he seemed so calm, peaceful and unbothered by anything at all. I was glad for the influence on his life because those couple of years of his spiritual renewal were some of the best years I remember as a young man growing up.

During high school I felt a sense of emptiness, like something was missing, but I didn't necessarily associate it with a spiritual need. I got involved in all manner of things to attempt to fill the void, but nothing seemed to work. High school was a bore and I made the ultimate bad decision of adolescence, I quit high school 3 months before graduation.

I loved the freedom of not being confined to school. I had a decent little job and just hung out and had fun for a few months. It wasn't until the next fall, when all of my friends went to school (high school and college) that I felt that emptiness return. I was walking to my job listening to my transistor radio when Rod Stewart's "Maggie May," was played. "Wake up Maggie I think I've got something to say to you. It's late September and I really should be back at school." The words hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was later able to interpret this experience as one of the first moves the Lord inititated to get my attention. Imagine that, God used Rod Stewart to get my attention. I did an inventory of my life and realized that I wasn't going to get anywhere unless I finished high school. I enrolled in the Air Force and finished high school through the Air Force Academy. I knew at that point that I had filled the gap that existed between where I was and where I thought I needed to go. Through the G.I. Bill I intended to go on to college, then law school and become an attorney. Apparently there were other plans for my life, as the emptiness returned. The spiritual void seemed more intense than ever. I commenced with asking the hard questions of life and had no answers.

Another chapter was yet to be written.