The Journey Part 11: The Pieces Fall Together

Upon resigning from Christian Hills Church, Grace and I took an extended sabbatical/vacation. We worked on getting our house ready for sale, listing it and making our plans to move to Jacksonville. Our house sold in 2 and 1/2 weeks even though it was in a rapidly weakening market. During that time we connected with old friends, said goodbye to our church family and I took advantage of some preaching opportunities that were made available to me.

So we loaded up the truck and moved to Jacksonville, Florida. Colleagues, friends and family thought we were crazy, or at the very least going through a mid-life crisis. Nothing could be further from the truth. We felt a sense of destiny. Although we had no real clue where we were going or what lay ahead we were confident that God had spoken to us and obedience was not an option.

Logos had plenty of work that needed to be done, but as with most non-profit religious organizations, insufficient financial resources to pay us. Since we knew God wanted us in Jacksonville, and we knew no one else but Dr. Travis, we agreed to work for Logos on "deferred compensation." It wasn't a hard choice as we believe very strongly in the Logos ministry.

In the meantime we set about looking for a church to call home. I'm a firm believer in the church. Whereas many claim that the church is inconvenient, or irrelevant, or even outdated, my understanding of the Scriptures is that Jesus is coming back for the church as His bride. I agree that the Church has many different manifestations and expressions, but it is the Church that Jesus loves, and if He loves her, so do I.

Not wanting to be presumptuous we decided to visit a number of churches of various denominations asking God for discernment as to where he wanted us to fellowship. We wanted more sacramental/liturgical components in the next church we would commit to, but we certainly were not going to compromise our evangelical and charismatic roots.

We visited Presbyterian, Methodist, and Lutheran congregations. All different, but excellent churches. We were warmed by the ancient and yet modern expressions of liturgy. We liked each congregation, as we saw a genuine Christian community of people who loved Jesus. Our appreciation for the traditions that have survived the test of time grew as we went from church to church. After 7 weeks of visiting churches, we decided to once again visit where it had all begun in February of 1999.

At the Church of the Messiah we were greeted with an Ancient-Future reality. God, as he had been worshipped for centuries was present in the incense, pagentry and symbols. The worship music easily drew us into the presence of the Lord. There were multiple instances of tongues, interpretation and prophecy. The Word of God was preached with anointing and prayer for the sick with the anointing with oil was offered. And the people were among the friendliest we had ever met. We were ready to settle in, but something wasn't clicking.

Grace and I discussed it and decided that the Lord wasn't giving us peace about settling in at Church of the Messiah. In one sense we were somewhat bummed out about it because we really liked it, but we were at the same time excited because that meant God had another place for us to find, and I like the journey as much as I like the destination.

During the ensuing week one of my co-workers asked if I had visited Christ the Redeemer in Ponte Vedra where Daniel Williams is the lead pastor of the congregation. I had never heard of Christ the Redeemer or Pastor Williams, but I was told that it too was a convergence church. Convergence is an embracing of the Sacramental, Evangelical and Charismatic streams of theological and historical expressions of being the church.

Christ the Redeemer Church in Ponte Vedra is a bit out of the way from Logos and where we live. The weather is beautiful in North Florida, so the ride isn't bothersome. We decided to give the church a visit. We pulled up to a modestly beautiful, new church building and walked in to participate in the service. It didn't take us long to realize that we were in a special place.

The church decor was simple, but beautiful. The worship music was great, the preaching was very good. Even though the Pastor was out of town, his Assistant Pastor spoke and did an outstanding job. The congregation engaged in every aspect of the service. When it was time for the Communion celebration, there was a time of communal prayer for forgiveness and we partook of the elements by going forward to the altar. God's presence was very real.

On the way home, we discussed our experience and both agreed that we would come back. We haven't gone anywhere else since. The missing piece of the puzzle had been found and it fit. I scheduled an introductory meeting with the Pastor. After speaking with him it was obvious that the main reason for us coming to Jacksonville was to learn about Convergence ministry, and Daniel Williams was the one we were to learn from

Grace and I couldn't be happier. We've had some financial curve balls thrown at us since we've been here, but we know that it is just an attempt by the Enemy to try to get us to doubt. It has only served to solidify our resolve. We are as confident as we can be that our move to Jacksonville was ordained by God. We look forward to our growth as Christians and development as ministers in the work of God as we learn how to facilitate three streams of God's move within his church. The beauty of the Sacramental, the spontaneity and power of Holy Spirit through the Charismatic, and fulfillment of the Great Commission through Evangelical heart and preaching.

We couldn't possibly be more content or fulfilled.

The Journey Part 10: Shooting at an Unfocused Target

If words could describe what was going on inside my head, heart and spirit, Chris Armstrong has said it better than me.

“ . . . On Sunday morning, I would walk in and feel the palpable presence of the all-powerful and all-loving Lord. On Saturday nights, at cell-group prayer meetings, I was mentored by wise “fathers and mothers in the Lord.” On Monday nights, I participated in the music ministry of a dynamic youth group.

Yet through the years, though this wonderful church formed me in the joy of the Lord that was my strength, I felt like we were missing something. As a stalwart outpost of the kingdom in a threatening world, our faith seemed somehow precarious. We stood, as we faced the world, on a foundation made of the words of our favorite Bible passages-our “canon within a canon”- and the sermons of our pastors and a roster of approved visiting evangelists. There was utterly no sense of the mystical massiveness of a church that had stood firmly for 2,000 years. No sense that our foundation actually stretched down and back through time. I didn’t have a clue who John Wesley, Martin Luther, Bernard of Clairvaux, and Ignatius of Antioch were. I just knew that I felt like I was part of a church that was in some ways powerful, but in other ways shallow and insecure in a threatening world that did not share our faith.

I now see that my early sense of the church’s insecurity stemmed from what J.I. Packer has called evangelicalism’s “stunted ecclesiology,” rooted in our alienation from our past. Without a healthy engagement with our past, including historical definitions of “church,” we are being true neither to Scripture nor to our theological identity as the church. Though Packer doesn’t put it this way, it is easy to see ways in which their stunted ecclesiology has led evangelicals to allow the world to shape the church.” (Chris Armstrong, The Future Lies in the Past, Christianity Today, February, 2008)

I could sense that I was getting closer, but the target was still unclear. The situation took a dramatic turn in 2006. It turned out to be a difficult year, but in retrospect I now see God's direction clearly.

2006 saw the passing of my father, my wife's retiring from active ministry work because of a serious back pain condition, a short lived, but life disrupting back injury and subsequent surgery for me got my attention. During times of deep contemplation I continued to seek the Lord about what I was doing and what and where he wanted me to go next. As the intensity of my feelings increased, my desire for a more ancient-future worship experience increased as well.

I consciously knew that whatever work the Lord had for me to accomplish at CHC was now coming to a close. In ministry there are always things that need to be done, but I believe that God calls certain people, for certain tasks at certain times. I had been putting off a church restructuring project for several years awaiting an opportune time. Through a time of prayer and conversations with the church leadership I sensed that time was now or never. We approached the membership with the idea for a new leadership structure. Our Elder Board was in agreement with the plan. According to the existing church constitution, it had to be ratified by the membership. To make a long story short, the plan went over like a lead balloon. It was the final piece of the puzzle that led me to conclude that my leadership days at CHC were over.

It was now January of 2007. I approached the Board of Elders again with my feelings that it may be time for a new pastor. I informed them that I would go away on my usual February vacation and that I would let them know if God reconfirmed my calling to CHC, or if he would confirm my feelings that it was time to leave. We headed for our vacation spot in South Florida where my brother lives and enjoyed a couple of weeks in the February sun. Most of our time was spent on the beach, reading, talking and trying to discern what God was saying. At the end our our time my wife and I came to the same conclusion. We were to move to North Florida. It was not a real logical decision as we had all of our family ties in South Florida and had only one connection to North Florida.

Dr. Charles Travis and his wife Deborah live and minister in Jacksonville. They have been close friends of ours for over 30 years. Chuck was my first Bible college professor and I had the privilege of presiding over his and Deborah's marriage ceremony. We have kept in contact over the years and valued each other's friendship. Dr. Travis is the president of Logos Global Network. A ministry that includes Logos Christian College and Graduate Schools. Dr. Travis had been asking me to move to Jacksonville to assist him at the College. Although I have always wanted to teach in a Bible college and had 14 years of experience as an adjunct professor in another college, I didn't feel that Logos was in God's plan for us.

Again, to make a long story short, I'll cut to the chase. I had been asking the Lord to give me some extended time away from pastoral ministry in order to rest and reconnect. I distinctly discerned that God wanted us to move to Jacksonville so I volunteered to work with Logos after my sabbatical until the Lord opened up whatever next chapter he wanted to write in our ministry lives. We moved to Jacksonville and the developments that ensued have been a wonderful surprise.

Tune in again in a few days and I'll have another installment ready for you to read. I hope you are having 1/10th the fun reading this as I have had writing it.

Peace

The Journey Part 9: The Journey To Jacksonville

The road to Jacksonville, Florida went through Orland Hills, Illinois, specifically through Christian Hills Church.

In April of 2001, what I thought was unimaginable, happened. The Lord moved us from Cross and Crown (C&C), the church we had planted and served for over 20 years, to assume the Senior Pastor role at Christian Hills Church (CHC) in one of the southwest suburbs of Chicago.

Leading up to the change in ministry assignments to CHC was the initial trip to Jacksonville where we were exposed to the ministry of convergence. Upon our return, from February of 1999 to April of 2001, we had introduced elements of sacramental and liturgical worship in our church in Chicago. The church membership was very receptive to the new approach, although it wasn't introduced as a new program, idea, or theological discovery. We had a history of being innovative in our worship services and the new expressions of worship were accepted as a normal growth experience. We recited the Apostles Creed or the Lord's Prayer, the Beatitudes or the Ten Commandments, while joining hands. We also observed communion more frequently. Prior to this time we celebrated the Lords' Supper periodically, but now we were consistently coming to the Table monthly.

As a contemporary church known for being on the cutting edge of worship music, we found ourselves rediscovering hymns and anthems that were centuries old. Our blended worship was enhanced by skilled musicians who were versatile enough to change styles from song to song seamlessly. Our worship experience was enhanced, and the preaching of Word was always of a high caliber as we had 3 good preachers on our staff. We were moving the church slowly into a greater appreciation of God by introducing elements that were proven to be inspired of the Holy Spirit, although in many cases hundreds of years old. It was a fulfilling experience but certainly incomplete.

The call to CHC came. I never thought I would ever leave the church we planted, but we were convinced that the Lord was speaking. CHC couldn't have been more different than the church we had planted. While C&C was a church plant with only the history we were able to write, CHC was a church that had 75 years of illustrious history. God certainly has a sense of humor. There were many differences between the two churches, but as the old theologian on Sesame Street has said, "Peoples is peoples is peoples." Ministry was a fun challenge no matter where we found ourselves ministering. The full story can be told some other time, but we answered the call obediently and joyfully. CHC was going to be an exciting place to see the hand of God at work.

CHC was more of a classical Pentecostal environment. I wasn't sure how I was going to fit, but I believed that both of us had something to offer and receive from each other. I assumed the leadership and began to create the leadership and ministry structures for moving the church forward. We loved the people and the challenge.

While busily leading the church, I couldn't shake the idea that what I had been exposed to in Jacksonville, FL was not solely for me personally or Cross and Crown. I looked for ways to introduce Ancient-Future ideas at CHC. Like most contemporary churches, CHC desired to be on the cutting edge of what God was doing, and being Pentecostal they hungered for a fresh charismatic outpouring. For the most part the simple elements we had introduced at Cross and Crown had crossover effect. CHC was a vibrant, God loving church and their desire to grow in God made it easy to serve.

It was during my time at CHC that the uneasiness in my soul began to grow. I couldn't rationalize that although preaching the Word was fulfilling, the worship was exuberant and dynamic, interpersonal relationships were growing, there still seemed to be something missing. In the midst of all of that we made an interesting discovery.

The first two years we were at CHC we had to preside at 50 funerals. Most were for members or extended family. The south side of Chicago was known for its Irish Catholic population. I had grown up on the north side of Chicago. While there were plenty of Catholics on the north side all the ones I knew were nominally Catholic. The south side had a high percentage of practicing Catholics. My new neighbor actually attending Mass every morning.

At many of the funerals there was a large number of Catholics. Many of the church members who had died were former Catholics who had found their way to CHC through the charismatic renewal. They had left the Catholic church as they discovered the way of salvation through a personal relationship to Jesus Christ leading to a subsequent Baptism in the Holy Spirit. As a Protestant officiating at funerals of ex-Catholics I wanted to make a connection with those attending. I would often start the funeral service by making the sign of the Cross over them and saying "The Lord be with You." As Catholics they would always automatically respond, "and also with you." The ice was broken and you could feel the focus of the attendees as they listened with respect to the preaching. I would always conclude the service with a corporate recitation of the Lord's Prayer. Without exception, after every funeral, a number of these Catholics would pull me aside and thank me. They never knew that a "Protestant" could speak about the things of God in a meaningful way. Often they would state that they had understood biblical principles for the first time through my preaching. Connecting with Catholics was an enriching experience.

Also, there were times when I would attend a funeral Mass for one of our church members family in a Catholic church. There I heard the Gospel being preached clearly. I saw Christ in the ritual and the liturgy. It was becoming very obvious to me that throughout my early life I hadn't heard the Gospel, but it wasn't because it wasn't being preached. I hadn't connected because I wasn't listening correctly or because the message had been obscured by tradition and symbol. My heart ached for those who were caught up in this same obscurity. I continually looked for ways to connect with liturgically minded people to help them understand who Jesus was and how he could be understood even through liturgy. I actually looked forward to going to Catholic funerals and weddings.

January of 2006 we (my wife and I) starting feeling a stirring in our soul that our time at CHC may be coming to an end. We broached the subject with our Elders and at the time they didn't feel that the timing was right. I honored their input, but the feeling wouldn't go away.

I'll pick up that part of the story in my next post.