Happy Father's Day

As anybody who knows me will tell you, I'm not a great fan of Hallmark holidays. I often feel like I am held hostage by the demands to buy gifts or send cards for days that have very little significance outside of some artificial value assigned by relationship terrorists. I know, it sounds a bit cynical but I'll try to help you understand my perspective although I am fully aware most of you will not agree with me when I'm done.

I have experienced more awkward moments surrounding these kinds of holidays than I'd like to remember. As a pastor I have had counseling sessions to try to bring peace in a home where a husband forgot Valentine's Day, or Mother's Day. About the only redeeming quality of these "holidays" is that they may bring to the surface the opportunity to deal with underlying issues that have nothing to do with the holiday itself.

When a husband, mother, father, wife or child forgets to bend the knee to the pseudo-holiday gods, the tension produced in a relationship can be cut with a knife. Accusations of being self-centered, insensitive, thoughtless or just plain selfish fill the air. The offended party feels betrayed, ignored and unappreciated. But therein lies the answer. Being taken out to dinner by people who have been extorted through commercials, advertisement and societal pressure has a hollow ring to it. Deep down inside we know that we aren't being truly appreciated, or being given any real special attention or treatment. The food is served, the check is paid and life returns to normal. Whew! We wipe our brows, punch in our relational time clock and can now coast for a year. Or until the next "holiday."

How do we break this cycle? Try showing appreciation randomly throughout the year. No extortion. No pressure. No hypocrisy. No being a societally conditioned Pavlovian dog. It's a novel concept, but people like to be appreciated for no apparent reason other than the fact that you appreciate them. Actually it is a biblical principle that should be practiced continually and constantly.

Imagine the look of surprise on your wife's face if you were to walk through the door with flowers in your hand, a sitter scheduled to watch the kids for the evening, and dinner reservations made. And it isn't Mother's Day, or her birthday, or the day that corresponds to when you first met, or kissed, or your first visit to the zoo together, or when she told you she was pregnant with your first child! All you would be doing is letting her know that she is appreciated, period. Some of you may have to prepare yourselves to be tailed by a private investigator as she may be convinced that you must be feeling guilty about something nefarious that you did. :)

Today is Father's Day. I've got a great idea. Celebrate it again a week from Tuesday. Chances are he'll still need that cordless drill or fishing rod. But I can pretty much guarantee you that he still won't feel appreciated if you give him a tie.