Hot Button Issue #8:: MARRIED IN THE EYES OF GOD…

A young couple asks you to dedicate their infant daughter to the Lord in a worship service. While explaining to them the significance of dedicating children, you discover they are not married. “If you’re going to commit yourselves to raising this child ‘in the fear and admonition of the Lord,’” you say, “you need to line your actions up with your words.” You explain that you will be happy to dedicate their child after they marry, since living out of wedlock does not teach Christian values.

“We can’t marry,” they reply. He provides well for his ex-wife from his salary, but she would extract an exorbitant amount from any joint business venture by the new couple. Remaining single enables them to avoid an unfair situation with his former wife.“Anyway,” they say, “we’re married in the eyes of God even if we’re not married in the eyes of the state.” How do you respond? And do you dedicate the child?

Hot Button Issues #5: Too Much Grace?

A divorcee in your church with three children volunteers to teach a class of third-grade girls. She proves to be a good teacher and has excellent rapport with the girls. Several months later you learn that she has become pregnant out of wedlock. “It would be best if you step aside from your leadership role,” you tell her. “Your pregnancy is not a good example for the girls in your class.” She agrees to resign.

At her last class, her assistant teacher leads the class in a farewell gesture, which includes small gifts for the unborn baby. One of the girls’ mothers calls to complain. “Not only have you condoned her behavior,” she says, “but now you have celebrated it.”

After listening to the mother’s concerns, you try to provide some context for the assistant’s good intentions. “If we’re going to err one way or the other,” you say, “I hope we can err on the side of grace.”

“Well, as far as I’m concerned,” the mother bristles, “there’s entirely too much grace around here.” How do you respond?

Hot Button Issue #4

GRACE OR STANDARDS?
Arrested two years ago for a sexual offense as a minor, a 19-year-old returns to your church after serving his time and going through extensive counseling. He welcomes mentoring from your church’s youth pastor as well as from some mature peers. He submits himself to an accountability structure and agrees to stay away from the children’s ministry areas of the church. Some in the church, however, become concerned when he asks if he can join the worship band to play drums during services.

What kind of standards should be required for him to minister publicly? Does grace release him quickly into ministry or lead him through a process of restoring trust? Does grace protect him from the misunderstandings of others? Does grace guard him against further temptation by maintaining a tight leash on his activities? How do you minister to the young man? And what do you say to the concerned members of your church?

Cultural Hot Button Issues

The following material was borrowed, with permission, from its author who chooses to remain anonymous at this time. These are actual cases that have come up in a church or churches. I would like to put them out for your consideration and comment.

The question before us is, "How do we deal with cultural hot-button issues in our churches?" How can we navigate the controversies of our increasingly complex times? There are biblical principles--timeless truths--that provide guidelines so we can:

• show absolute love to post-moderns-who claim there are no absolutes.
• hold firmly to our convictions-yet do it with compassion.
• be caring and understanding-without compromising our values
• demonstrate forgiveness, grace and acceptance- while maintaining righteous standards.

Here is the first of a number of case studies I will be posting. Depending on the level and amount of dialogue, I will post one per week.

Case Number 1: Your church owns a parsonage, but since it is not needed for staff housing, the church board decides to rent it out. An ideal young couple fills out an application to rent-but lets it slip out that they are not married. As landloard, your church cannot discrimiate against them for their private behavior. But many church members assume you are condoning cohabitation if you permit them to live in a church-owned housing. What do you do?

Remember, these are actual cases churches have had to deal with.