Trying to Understand Divorce Biblically

When I was a young Christian I was very dogmatic about many issues. I saw them primarily in black or white. As I matured I learned that there are a number of gray areas that don't easily fit into black or white understandings. As I've matured even further I am convinced of two things: there are a lot more gray issues than I initially calculated, and there is a movement in our culture to reconstruct truth, which is always black or white, into palatable shades of gray.

Divorce is one of those issues. Christianity Today has published an article available here that attempts to shed some light on the tricky issue of divorce. While some may immediately jump to the conclusion that it is a capitulation to the culture, others will be just as quick to accept much of our divorce culture in a pragmatic attempt to be biblically relevant.

There are two basic principles of Bible interpretation that most, if not all, scholars agree on. Rule number one is that we must try to determine what the original authors actually said, and the second rule is that there is only one interpretation of scripture although there may be many applications. Scripture cannot be made to say today what it didn't say when it was written. And that is where we find the sticky wicket.

There is 2,000 years of history separating us from the original writers and message. Add to that a foreign language and culture and the difficult task of properly interpreting scripture is easily understood. But that doesn't mean that one has to be a scholar in order to grasp the truth of God. It simply means that we must approach the text with humility saturated with grace.

We must do our necessary homework before we pronounce something as true or untrue. We then live in the light as we understand it with an open heart and mind seeking further illumination. Until then, we can live with a clean conscience. Sloppy interpretation may lead us to live in the bliss of ignorance, but only knowing the truth can keep us free indeed.

I am grieved by the number of divorces that happen whether to Christians or non-Christians. The subsequent brokenness and pain to the persons involved takes years, and often decades, to work through. Add to that the dysfunction that often exists in the lives of children caught up as innocent parties, the poverty that often exists in single-parent families and that alone would make me want to take a strong stance against divorce.

But once the divorce has happened, I am motivated by wanting to bring healing to those same broken people in need of God's grace and mercy. Read the article and share your experience or thoughts. This is a topic that has many sociological as well as theological ramifications.

Let's Stay Together

The good news is that divorce rates are declining. The bad news is that more couples of living together without getting married. The good news is that many children are being raised by a mom and a dad. The bad news is that premarital cohabitation arrangements rarely pass the test of time.

There is a new kind of divorce occuring that isn't necessarily being tracked. Couples splitting after living together for a year, two or more. Often children are involved and the pain and the heartache is no less real.

Studies have shown that couples who live together most often do not get married. These same studies also show that if they do get married, the chances of their marriage lasting is no better than for those who didn't live together before marriage. The statistics are even worse for divorced people who get remarried. They stand a 60% chance that their second marriage will also not succeed.

God's prescription for marriage is as simple as it is difficult. A man and a woman join themselves in a covenant pledging to remain faithful to each other while honoring and respecting their partner until death separates them. But our selfishness often gets in the way and the vows are cast to the wayside.

Selflessness is at the center of a successful relationship. To put your spouse ahead of yourself is what is mandated by a marriage covenant. If both participants in a marriage relationship are doing it, the marriage will succeed.

What erodes a marriage relationship? What have you seen in your experiences as the key for married people to stay married? What can a church do to enhance the possibility of marriage success?